I cannot believe these boots. They are Lanvin (thanks, Lanvin, for the clown

freak show), $1250 (hey, it's nearly March, time to put that crap on

sale), and they look like prosthetic legs. Disturbing. However, I must

say, if I didn't have legs, like Lieutenant Dan, I'd want my prosthetics

to be ready made, equipped with patent heels, for realz. Or, for those

girls who go days without shaving because they figure, why bother when

they already have a boyfriend and all they do is sit on the sofa and eat

Campizi leftovers, perhaps this is a solution. Or, for those only on the third of

11 laser treatments....perfect for covering tatts for those red carpet

events and more upscale boat shows (regular boat shows, no need to

cover).”